Culture Shock

I have been so cultured recently, and have ticked quite a few things off my Paris Checklist and then some! I managed to get to the Catacombs, Cimitere de Montmartre, Promenade Plantée, Musée d'Orsay and go to the top of the Arc de Triomphe. All are worth going to, with a personal favourite being the Arc de Triomphe. There is something about being in the middle of a busy city, high above the hustle and bustle, that I love.

As for the things that weren't on my list: if anyone in Paris at the moment is interested in cinema and/or French historical monuments, then I urge you to go to the 'Monuments, stars du 7e Art' exhibition at La Conciergerie. The exhibition is on until 13th Feb and is really interesting. I would also recommend the 'Reporters Sans Frontiers' exhibition at Le Petit Palais to anyone. It's evocative and shocking (in a tactful way): on until 27th Feb. I also found myself at Le Mosquée last week, a Moroccan/Arabic style tea room with very sweet tea and cakes, saving my crumbs for the little birds flying around inside.

Being cultured for a whole week deserves a little relaxing (read: drinking) time so my friends and I made the most of the weekend (starting Thursday night) and went to some really fun places: Café Charbon who do 1 litre cocktails for 19€ which was pretty good between four of us, L'International which was hosting a gig in its basement room, La Machine du Moulin Rouge which is a fantastic club venue where we got to see a short film about All Tomorrow's Parties; great film, terrible music (in my opinion) and finally, au contraire to the unenjoyable music at La Machine, a playlist that would make Snobs proud in Pop In's sweaty basement room.

All in all, a fab week which has come to an abrupt end with the start of university classes. Ici, la fin de la vie de loisir et le début du grand stress!

Blinded by the Light

As far as crazy nights out in Paris go, Friday night at Duplex wasn't particularly remarkable until we left. The initial worry of would we/wouldn't we get in was dispelled when my flat-mate and I were looked up and down by a bouncer and deemed acceptable enough to go on in. The club was pretty good except for the severe lack of investment in any air conditioning system. The music was fun and the men sleazy, of course. I don't really see the reason for the apparent exclusivity, apart from the fact that it is on the road opposite the Champs Elysées. The night was good but was made great by the people I went with.

We left the venue feeling giddy with excitement at stealing a guy's woolly hat and taking loads of photos with it, finding my flat-mate's incredibly cute future husband and the juxtaposition of such a snobby club playing 'Cotton Eye Joe.' Amidst the giddiness, I, rather immaturely, decided to take a photo of the road we were on: 'Avenue de Foch,' please forgive my idiocy - I'd had a few drinks.

Aparrently, I was to be punished for being so silly as I unwittingly captured two men standing underneath the sign; big mistake. One of the men stormed over to me and demanded: "T'as pris une photo?" To which I replied: "Err...oui." And suddenly he shouted: "Non! Tu ne prends pas une photo!" Proceeded to whack my camera out of my hand causing the batteries to fly out, and then grab it from the floor and storm off with it.

Luckily, a different drunk guy came to the rescue; he actually ran after him and managed to get my camera back, unharmed. Then he tried to explain in broken English that the guy didn't want me to take any pictures of the club... Fine, apart from the fact that the club was behind me when I was taking the photo.

He must have become incensed after being exposed to the camera's bright flash, kind of like how Gremlins have an aversion to sunlight/bright lights. The moral of the story is: grow up and stop finding words that sound like swear-words funny. Here is the incriminating photo. (He is the guy all in black.)

Les Conventions Françaises #2

- NB: This post is essentially just a rant. -

So, apparently, another French convention within the scope of taking exams is to have a completely useless and rubbish system in place.So rubbish and useless that I have managed to miss two of my exams and turn up three hours early for another. I know I'm not renowned for being the most astute person ever and have been known to make some silly mistakes, however, these weren't (entirely) my fault, in fact, I attribute most of the blame to the crap French exam system.

Examen 1: Raté

Weeks and weeks before I even knew the date of this exam, I had booked a weekend trip to Barcelona with a friend. Imagine my horror when my lecturer gave us the date of the exam and I realised that I wouldn't actually be in the country on that date. My fault though, right? Well, imagine my horror when I decided not to go to the class the next week as I knew they would be correcting the exam, and found out from a girl in my class that it had been moved to that week instead... Still my fault isn't it?

Examen 2: Trois heures trop tôt

The teacher had confirmed that the exam would be at 13.30, first Wednesday back, same room. So when a friend sent me a link to the exam planning for that department, I asked myself why the website would explicitly state that the exam was going take place at 10.30 in a completely different room? Unfortunately, I wasn't chez moi that evening, so in the morning I hot-footed it over to the campus with no pens, paper or a dictionary, met my friends to go to the exam, only to find that it wasn't taking place then. It was in fact at 13.30, in the room we had originally thought it to be.

Examen 3: Raté

Well, all I did this time was simply check the website and note down the time: Jeudi 13 Janvier 16.30. Then I got a text on Monday from a friend doing the same course but a different subject within the course, asking if I had the exam and if so, to come and sit near her when I got there. Strange, I thought, as I was actually on my way to a different exam. I assured myself that hers was probably at a different time as it was a different subject, but I emailed my tutor just in case. It did take place when my friend text me, when I was doing another exam. I find this ridiculous as both subjects are from the same department and thus are bound to have students who must sit both, so why were they on at the same time?

SYSTEME FRANCAIS DE MERDE!

French Pulling Tips #1

Take your cat on the metro

Yes, I actually saw a woman with a cat on the metro yesterday, and not in one of those carriers that you use to take them to the vets. No, it had a harness and a lead on. Which all may seem rather innocent, but when kitty's owner sits in the seat right next to cute French guy and kitty takes a shine to him, it becomes not so innocent.

The kitty (which was so cute by the way!) made friends with the man by purring round him and wandering onto his lap, thus commanding his full attention. He made silly cutesy noises to the kitty and got chatting to the owner. I couldn't believe it! She's lucky he was so understanding, I can't imagine that many people would be enamoured with someone else's cat walking all over them whilst they're trying to maintain their best I'm-pissed-off-because-I'm-on-the-métro face?

Alas, her pulling technique failed as he descended the metro and left her and her kitty without his number. Kitty proceeded to do a cat walk (ha!) and paraded up and down by the seats. Presumably attempting to attract a mate, although whether it was for the cat itself or its owner, I'm not sure. I think I would advise against this method as she was probably pretty lucky to find someone who didn't mind putting their book down for a few minutes to coo over her cat, and not get annoyed at leaving the metro with cat hairs all over his best work trousers.

[As I don't have a picture of le chat dans le métro, here is a photo I took of a cat in another inappropriate place - a bakery window, atop the baguettes.]

Centre Pompidou

Going to a gallery of modern art always reminds me just how much I dislike modern art. I find that it can be distasteful, shocking for the sake of being shocking and pointless. However, it also reminded me just how intelligent some modern thinkers are/were. Actually, I don't dislike all modern art; in fact, it's the really modern stuff that I dislike, rather than the exhibitions at Centre Pompidou. However, some of the pictures and installations made me question how they could possibly be called art. Of course, this is what makes it art; the fact that it invokes such a strong reaction. If you can walk past a piece of art without having any feeling towards it, then it hasn't really achieved its goal - to make you feel, think, question. In my opinion, anyway.

Les Conventions Françaises

Today I had a rather casual experience: sitting my first exam of the term. "Casual" not normally being an appropriate adjective for sitting an exam, unless you are doing it at the uni I'm currently studying at.

I'm not sure if it is just this uni - because, in all honesty, it's pretty rubbish - or all French unis but I was a bit shocked by the way the whole thing was conducted. I walked in, amidst many other students who were chatting away, took my own answer paper and rough work paper from a desk at the front and then sat wherever I liked (on the end of the row quite far back.) Entering an exam in England is so different; you are to be silent as soon as you enter the exam room and you take the seat that is allocated to you where your answer paper will already be waiting for you.

The room proceeded to fill up and people carried on chatting and sitting together; another difference: whenever I have taken an exam in a lecture theatre, we are told to sit with an empty seat between us. Not in this uni! Once (almost) everyone was present and seated, the lecturer began to explain the paper briefly whilst it was distributed among us. We have lackeys - sorry, exam assistants - back home to do that for us. And, in addition to explaining the paper, one of the people overseeing the exam treats us to a long speech about procedures, practices etc.

All the papers were given out and we were able to start. Glancing around the room, I noticed that everyone had their phones sat on the desk, some using them... What?! Back at home that phone isn't even supposed to be on your person let alone your desk or in your hand, while you text someone "Examen de merde!" (Or so I imagine.) The guy next to me could have even been suspected of cheating; he was constantly texting and looking at his phone and then writing. Even if he wasn't, anyone could have been.

Twice during the exam the lecturer (the only person overseeing the exam) decided we were to be trusted and left, not for a short while either. And everyone began to chat.

This whole experience baffled me, perhaps the French education system is more trusting of its students, perhaps it really is a reflection of how rubbish my uni is; or even just that particular module, or perhaps it is in-keeping with that blasé French attitude we have come to know and love.

If the guy next to me doesn't get full marks on the paper, then my faith in honesty and human decency will be restored.

Paris Checklist

Apart from a little scrappy bit of paper sellotaped to my wall, I haven't made a comprehensive list of places to go and things to do in Paris. Despite this, I have actually managed to tick some things off said scrap. So, here is my comprehensive list of things I am yet to see or do.

La Culture

1. Musée d'Orsay - It's scandalous that I haven't been yet.
2. Centre Pompidou - See above.
3. Institut du Monde Arabe - I actually did attempt this one, but I went on a Monday, when it is - of which I was unaware - closed to the public.
4. Promenade Plantée
5. Archives Nationales
6. Sainte-Chapelle
7. Eglise St. Eustache
8. Cimitière de Montmartre
9. Les Catacombes
10. Tour Montparnasse
11. Versailles
13. Palais Royal
14. Museum Nationale d'Histoire Naturelle
15. Maison de Victor Hugo
16. Musée du Quai Branly
17. Cimitière du Montparnasse

Shopping
1. Le Pestacle de Maëlou
2. Hi Panda

La Nourriture

1. The café in the first episode of season 4 Gossip Girl. May need to find out which one it is before I attempt to go.
2. Angelina's - for their allegedly amazing hot chocolate.
3. Baccarat - also inspired by Gossip Girl. This one probably won't happen, but one can dream, non?
4. Breakfast In America
6. The (elusive) British food shop

Pour prendre une verre (ou deux)

1. Planète Mars
2. La Fleche d'Or
3. Pop In
4. L'International
5. Le Tigre

(Merci Indie Travel Guide)

.And go to a gig. This list is not exhaustive; I think of something else I want to do here all the time. So, I will try my best to remember to add to the list and cross off as is appropriate. I'm also interested to see which category gets completed first...